I watched a bad teen boarding school documentary last night and my whole life makes sense now.
They went through horrific conditions, so much abuse, really traumatic shit all told. And I was thinking- relatable except I didn't go through anything that bad.
However, I am a LIAR because I don't actually remember what I went through so that's reallyyyyy- smiley face emoji.
They came out of it diagnosed with C-PTSD and well I too am diagnosed with C-PTSD so probably I can have a cheeky little panic attack but it's actually a debilitating PTSD flashback??
HOWEVER, maybe I should take that diagnosis a lil more seriously. Instead of what I did, at the time, which is hear the diagnosis and think I'm stronger than the marines, and move on. Never to think about it again except as a cute little punchline.
It was most definitely validating because maybe the feelings I have about things actually make sense because it's a real mental illness and not just a bad childhood?
It is probably telling that my sister and I were laughing through it and Husband was very feeling yikes. Good job at explaining emotions gab!
I can try therapy out and my fear of being debilitated by it if I start working through it is actually a real fear because that's what apparently happens. And I can do that too because I've been living through it already- very successfully one might say. Not my father, but someone could say that.
I highly recommend watching The Program: Cons, Cults, and Kidnapping- if you wanna go through it a lil with me.
Sure this was supposed to be a book blog too but a bitch isn't reading books, she's reading fanfics and going through it. And it's my blog so suck it up loser!
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